Friday, August 14, 2015

Living in the Moment

Everyday I thank God for my life. I am trying to live in the moment, though I take many photos, so I can look back on better times. I think memories are necessary to get us through the hard times.

Life has its good and bad moments. I have had my share of bad stuff, but I think the good far outweighs all the bad. Ralph is one of the good things in life and are making wonderful memories everyday.

My outlook on life has changed... I went from being a pessimist who hope for the best but expected the worst to being an optimist. I don't know how this change happened exactly, but it did. In part I think it is that I made a conscious decision to change the way I react to situations. (I am not always good at this.) Once I began working on this it seems that I changed in other ways.

There always seems to be that one person who gets under my skin, who knows how to push my buttons. So I once again find myself in a battle to be a better me. It's not easy to fight myself, but I realize that I share some of the blame in these situations. So I am putting all the techniques I learned in the past to let it go. Did I just put an ear worm in your head? I did in mine. 

It helps to write about it, even if I just elude to it and though there are daily reminders, I just repeat The Serenity Prayer like a mantra. Daily meditation helps.

And the small times with my love helps ground me. I miss my support group of friends, exercise buddies, writers group and the DBSA, most of the people involved in these are my friends, but are too far away. And yet still near enough via electronics to offer some support, but not near enough to take a walk.

I need to get out and start building my friend network again. And I have started, but I often feel like I am imposing, so I don't reach out.

In the meantime, I have found my voice (my writing voice that is.) and for that I am grateful. This will help get me through being by myself.

Love, Peace and Light,


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